Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries
Relationships can be tricky to navigate, and sometimes it can feel like we are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to our connections with others. Setting and maintaining boundaries can be a big part of healthy relationships. Without healthy boundaries in place, your relationships can feel like they are draining you as you find yourself agreeing to things you may not want to do.
While setting boundaries may sound harsh, boundaries are there so you can have healthy relationships with everyone around you.
Set Tangible Limits
While it may be challenging to set boundaries, it’s essential to know what you will tolerate and what you will not. So take some time to think about what you want. Consider making a list of things that have made you upset or uncomfortable in the past and work to create some boundaries around that. By knowing yourself better, you can learn how to set meaningful and authentic boundaries.
Be assertive about your boundaries. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude or disrespectful. Just try to name the Who, What, Where, When, and maybe Why. By doing so, you can be being clear and direct about what your needs are and who needs to pay attention to them. You deserve to be heard. Setting clear limits is the first step.
Always Practice Self-Care
These boundaries are about you and your mental wellbeing, so be sure to hone in on yourself and take all your feelings into account. If you notice you are prone to guilt or self-doubt, take time to remind yourself: You deserve respect, and you deserve to have boundaries. Permit yourself to put you first.
If you have a hard time allowing yourself to set and keep boundaries, it may be a good idea to get help from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. They can help encourage you to develop and maintain your boundaries.
Examples of Healthy Boundaries
Even if you know how important healthy boundaries are, it can be hard to know what healthy boundaries look like. So here are some examples to help you set your own!
- “I love you and love being around you, but please don’t hug me without asking.”
- “I understand that your spiritual practice is really important to you, and that is great! But I feel uncomfortable talking with you about it.”
- “I am feeling overwhelmed by all the planning for the upcoming trip. Can we discuss ideas for how to be more relaxed about the schedule?”
These are some examples of good boundaries that are respectful to the person you are speaking to while still ensuring your needs are met.
Setting boundaries is an important life skill that can help you in many aspects of your life. It promotes healthy congruence between what you feel and what you communicate to others.
